Its really late. I have work at 8 am tomarro. Tonight was weird. It had its really fun parts, and the weird parts. I felt really uncomfortable at one point in the evening at matts house. But once I was gone from there, I was fine. Went to pick up Joe and Sydney to take them to waffle house. Drove around with jake for a while. Watched a building downtown burn to the ground. Went to Michael's house a few times. The night was alright, except for that weird feeling thing. But im just now starting to get tired, and i have to wake up in four hours. Goodnight.

Current Mood: depressed

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Today so far has been fun. Joe and I did some recording. It turned out alright. Drum machines suck. We need to have someone play drums for us. Instead, we have an eighties drum machine. Makes everything sound like Phil Collins, which is terrible. Phil Collins sucks. But Joe's guitar sounded good suprisingly, and the bass was alright. Just that the drums were bad. But we played freedom rock for a while. Thas cool. Maybe things are getting better in the world. Hopefully.

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i havent updated this in a while. nothing at all is happening. i sit around all day and watch friends. thats about all ive done in the past several weeks. well, besides school. only 2 and a half days left of that. ive hung out with michael and deshaun most of the time. havent really talked to anyone in a while. it hasnt been too fun. im still waiting for something great to happen. i dont think waiting on it will do any good. i think its going to prevent it from happening. but theres nothing else to think about, so i doubt there is much to look forward to in the future. oh well.

Current Mood: depressed

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At this point i feel worse than i ever did. The only nice things about today were Michael, Deshaun, David, Jeff, and Chris. And thanks to Fritz for the ride home last night. I appreciated that. Thank you very much. I dont want to be like those shallow catholic guys. I cant take this anymore. Im really stupid. I got myself into all of this. Why did I do that? It was a really bad choice to make. But it completely made me feel like crap. I should know not to listen to everyone else. I knew that it was going to mess everything up. I should have just trusted my guy instinct. It works much better. I wish the next few years would end. Hopefully by the time im 23 or so, Ill be feeling better. I hopefully have that to look forward to. I cant wait until high school is done. Im so glad I wont have to see alot of people ever again. I want to somehow have them deleted from my mind. Im just going to try to rest alot. Maybe thats what I need. I dont know. I need to get all of that music out to give to jeff. I need to do alot of things. I wish I could go back 3 years and fix everything I ever did wrong. And make sure I dont listen to other people's advice. It doesnt seem to work for me. And then they get pissed off at me because it doesnt work. Dammit. Im fucked.

Current Mood: depressed

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Today was pretty crappy. Went to school at 7:45. We had two bomb threats today. That was pretty exciting. After school let out, I went to my dads house and sat around for a while. Around six thirty, I left and went to barnes and noble to meet michael and david. We went to pick up deshaun after that, and went to savers. My mom called me, and said she had a car that she really wanted me to buy. I really wish I could buy it too, but its all $4500, and I dont have that much. Damn you money. Hopefully her friend that works at landers will help me out. We then went to vinos to eat. Im supposed to call graham about helping out recording any night during the week but wednesday. After we left there, we went back to michael's house. David left at some point. Then Jeff and Chris came over around 10:20 or so. It was pretty cool. Yeah. And then there is the whole the reason people dont want to be my friend is because I dont have a car. I mean, I know that sucks and all, but there are far worse things in the world. I mean, the person that told me this doesnt have a car. Atleast Im working on getting one. Hes not. I told deshaun, michael, jeff and chris about this situation. They seemed to think it was retarded too. Dont tell me people dont want to hang out with me because i dont have a ride, when they had called you earlier to offer to pick you up. And then dont get pissed off when I call you a retard because you have no idea what you are talking about. Im really getting sick of all of this. This summer school thing makes life terrible. And it makes it worse if after summer school, no one will do anything with me. And then to try to basically tell me I was selfish doesnt help much either. Why dont you put yourself in my situation. Then see how you feel. Everyone wont think your funny and attractive and cool. They will say things like "oh yeah, ill call you when i leave my house" and then leave and come back and never call. And then someone will tell you its because they would have to go and get you, even though this same person called and offered them a ride. You know, I can think of one bad thing that has happened to this person, and they knew all along that it was going to happen. I dont see how they can tell me that I cause people to hate me because I dont have a car. That really hurts. And apparently, you are too selfish to realize it. Why dont you think about what you are saying before you say it. You might realize what you are saying is really stupid. If you cry about the small things that happen to you, you would have killed yourself by now if you were me. Stop trying to make yourself feel really cool by putting other people down. You have to be the center of attention at all times, and you completely deny it. Other people have noticed it too, so dont think its just me making things up. Im just really sick of it. And then basically telling me that I couldnt come to you with my problems. what the hell? thats what good friends are supposed to do. Are you insane? And the worst thing is, everyone probobly thinks Im a terrible person because you didnt tell them the things that you told me. You just said I got pissed off at you for no reason. You should feel good about yourself. you have always been the guy everyone thought was really cool. I dont see why you feel the need to degrade other people's feelings, especially when they arent even feeling too well to begin with. The only postive thing that I can think of about this, is that I know what not to do to people. But trying to be nice to everyone, and trying to be a good friend doesnt do anything for you. Its all about how much attention you can get, and how cool you can look. Who cares about who your real friends are.

Current Mood: aggravated

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Once again, im sitting at my moms house by myself. Summer School is the worst thing ever. They make it easy to piss you off, because once you finish your work, all you can do is sit there. YOU CANT SLEEP. Its terrible. No one is picking up their phones, and Im sitting in front of the computer. Its like, everyone just left town. Yesterday was alright, except that whole school thing. I went to north little rock to eat at the starlite, which was for some reason closed. So we got snowcones and came back to little rock. We ate at Senor Tequilas. It was alright, I wasnt really hungry though. Then we went to barnes and noble and met up with micool. Then we took emily home. Then michael and deshaun took me to merdif's house. Over the course of the night, we sat around, got wendy's, and played monopoly(which i was thrown out of). I got home really late, at like 2:00. Then I had to wake up at 6:30 for school. I went to school. Now Im at home, as I have been since 1:15 when school let out. There is nothing to do.

Current Mood: depressed

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people are retarded
Yeah, I just had alot of stuff written, but accidently deleted it. Alright. I wish someone that I hadnt hung out with in a long time would just call, even if its just to see whats going on. I feel like that would help me feel alot better. I dont know why. It just bothers me to feel like Ive lost friends. Today I saw Mrs. Estell at work. I talked to her for a little bit. She helped me alot in 10th grade and I really appreciate it. She told me if I ever needed anything, be it a recomendation or if I just need someone to talk to. I wish everyone that has taught me in high school could be like her. Someone who actually cared about the students.
I need to get out of feeling so crappy. I wish I hadnt done things to make people hate me. I feel like I bother almost everyone I come into contact with. I mean, I really wish I wasnt so annoying. Why do I have to be this way? I really dont want to. And I try so hard to be a really nice person, and be cool to be around. But I just cant do it. Im so annoying, and so stupid, I dont even see what point I have on this planet. I serve no purpose. In the words of a famous poet, I am a "useless sack of shit". I wish I could be just a normal person that got along with everyone. If the saying Nice guys finish last is true, than Im probobly a really nice guy. I mean, Ive never won anything in my life except an honorable mention in a 5th grade art contest in the regional area. I still remember that, because it is still the only thing Ive won. And Im a really annoying guy, I bother everyone I come into contact with, and I serve no purpose on this planet. What is my problem? Why cant I just not suck so bad. Im so stupid. What did I do wrong in my life? What have I done to all of the people that hate me or think Im annoying? I have no bad intentions for anyone. I dont mean to annoy you, or be mean to you, or embaress you, or make you feel bad. I dont even notice myself doing it. But I really want to stop. I wish I could just make people happy. I wish whenever someone said my name, people could just say "oh that guy is so nice to everyone" or "that guy is the nicest person ever, hes an all around cool guy". But Im not. Im a terrible terrible person. Im really really sorry for crying and complaining about all of this. And I know its probobly just annoying you more. But Im really really sorry. I feel like I bother you. Like Im just that guy that people are nice to because they feel sorry for him. I wish I didnt annoy people so much. And I wish I was just an all around cool guy. I know you probobly think Im a whiny little bitch, but I cant do anything about it. Ive tried so hard to be nice and cool to everyone all the time, but I still just annoy people, and do bad things. I mean, I see people that dont appreciate the good things that have happened to them. Like they actually have a girl that they like alot, who likes them back, and then they cheat on them. Why would you do that? I would be so grateful if there was someone like that to me. I would feel so selfish if ever did that to anyone. And then those people that just like to play with other people's heads. Do you not realize what you are doing? You are fortunate enough to have people that like you, and you just like to make them feel like you appreciate it, but then blow it off. Its so stupid. I guess I have learned more than most people have from watching alot of people around them do this to each other. I hope I never turn into one of these people. Im really sorry. If you are reading this, Im most likely not talking about you. People like that would not acknowledge that I exist, let alone read all of my complaining. I really appreciate all of my friends so much. They have done so many nice things for me, I dont know how to show them that I really appreciate them. The only thing I can do is to try to be a nice person and a good friend. I really hope I do this. Anyway, Im really sorry for complaining and crying about all of this. But sometimes I just wish good things would happen. Like a random person would call me, or whatever. I appreciate things more than most people do. I guess thats how it ends up when you feel like nothing but bad things happen to you. But you turn out a better person. Ive learned to appreciate all of the good things in life. My parents, my friends, and some things that really mean alot to me. And I know I probobly seem really ungrateful, but Im really not. Im sorry to bother you. I really wish I didnt have to be a terrible person. Hopefully someday, Ill be a really good person. Thank you for taking the time to read this. Its good to have someone listen to you complain, and its nice to have a shoulder to cry on. And I appreciate you spending your time reading this when you could be doing something much better. Thank you. And Im sorry

Current Mood: depressed

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I need to clear my head out of everything. I wish I could just forget everything and start over. Too many memories of good and bad things. And the good things will never come back, but the bad things will always stay. Life sucks and then you die. But whatever. I need to start feeling better about everything. I know I will never understand how everyone else thinks, and Im giving up on trying to find out.

Current Mood: depressed

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Dammit. Im not gay. I mean, I know people think I am, but seriously. A computer thinks I am. damn.

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</table

radiojetradio Magic Number 18 Job Serial Killer Personality The Glass Is Half-Empty Temperament All Bark, No Bite Sexual Gay Likely To Win The Lottery Me - In A Word Belligerent Colour Brought to you by MemeJack

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If I were a month I would be: may
If I were a day of the week I would be: Friday
If I were a time of day I would be: 8:30 pm
If I were a planet I would be: jupiter
If I were a sea animal I would be: some type of fish
If I were a direction I would be: right
If I were a piece of furniture I would be: sofa
If I were a sin I would be: jealousy probobly
If I were a historical figure I would be: nick drake
If I were a liquid I would be: lemonade
If I were a tree, I would be: a big one
If I were a kind of weather, I would be: rain
If I were a musical instrument, I would be: piano
If I were an animal, I would be: a squirrel
If I were a color, I would be: sea green or baby blue
If I were a vegetable, I would be: lettuce
If I were a sound, I would be: the sound of slayer
If I were an element, I would be: chrome
If I were a car, I would be: something normal, like an accord or an altima
If I were a song, I would be: superdrag: slot machine/phaser(connected)
If I were a movie, I would be directed by: Michael Carpenter
If I were a book, I would be written by: Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.
If I were a place, I would be: ireland
If I were a material, I would be: cotton
If I were a taste, I would be: something sweet
If I were a scent, I would be: new car
If I were a word, I would be: complain
If I were an object, I would be: telephone
If I were a body part I would be: ankle
If I were a facial expression I would be: one like christopher walken has.
If I were a cartoon character I would be: mickey mouse
If I were a shape I would be a: square
If I were a number I would be: 24

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LAYER ONE:
-- Name: Zachery Mckenzie Doogan Hunter
-- Birth date: February 5, 1986
-- Birthplace: Little Rock, AR
-- Current Location: Little Rock, Ar.
-- Eye Color: Green
-- Hair Color: dark brown
-- Height: 5'7
-- Righty or Lefty: Righty
-- Zodiac Sign: aquarius
LAYER TWO:
-- Your heritage: mother-scottish, grandmother-italian, other grandmother-irish, also english, and more scottish.
-- The shoes you wore today: converse
-- Your weakness: people hating me
-- Your fears: everything I am experiencing right now
-- Your perfect pizza:cheese, sausage, pepperoni, green peppers.
-- Goal you'd like to achieve: To do what I want to in life.
LAYER THREE:
-- Your most overused phrase on AIM:I dont really pay attention
-- Your thoughts first waking up: maybe today will be better
-- Your best physical feature: everything is pretty bad
-- Your bedtime: should be earlier than it is
-- Your most missed memory: how everyone used to be. everyone sucks now
-- Pepsi or Coke: lemonade.
-- McDonald's or Burger King: backyard burgers
-- Single or group dates: I havent had enough experience with either
-- Adidas or Nike: adidas
-- Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: I dont like iced tea
-- Chocolate or vanilla: Chocolate
-- Cappuccino or coffee: I dont drink caffiene

LAYER FIVE:
-- Smoke: no
-- Cuss: yeah, I need to try to stop.
-- Sing: tried
-- Take a shower everyday: yes, try for twice
-- Have a crush(es): yeah, its made my life hell
-- Do you think you've been in love: no, definitly not.
-- Want to go to college: yeah
-- Like(d) high school: hate it, was better 9th and 10th grades.
-- Want to get married: yeah, someday. I have terrible luck with these things though.
-- Believe in yourself: fail at everything
-- Get motion sickness: As long as I dont spin.
-- Think you're attractive: Im pretty unattractive. I brake mirrors.
Think you're a health freak: no, but I deal with too many of them at work.
-- Get along with your parent(s): yes, I love my parents to death.
-- Like thunderstorms: yeah, it takes my mind off of other things
-- Play an instrument: I try, but Im not good.
LAYER SIX:
In the past year have you...
-- Drank alcohol: no
-- Smoked: no
-- Done a drug: no
-- Had Sex: no
-- Made Out: no
-- Gone on a date: no
-- Gone to the mall?: alot
-- Eaten an entire box of Oreos: yes
-- Eaten sushi: sushi is terrible
-- Been on stage: yeah, sadly.
-- Been dumped: no
-- Gone skating: yeah, I fell though.
-- Made homemade cookies: yes
-- Gone skinny dipping: no
-- Dyed your hair: yeah, probobly about 11 times
-- Stolen anything: no, cookies at work doesnt count though.

LAYER SEVEN:
Ever...
-- Played a game that required removal of clothing: no, everyone would leave if that happened to me.
-- If so, was it mixed company: it didnt happen
-- Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: no
-- Been caught "doing something": no, i dont do things
-- Been called a tease: a tease?
-- Gotten beaten up: everyday
-- Shoplifted: no
-- Changed who you were to fit in: probobly. i dont know.

LAYER EIGHT:
-- Age you hope to be married: 30 something
-- Numbers and Names of Children: I dont know.
-- Describe your Dream Wedding: A good one.
-- How do you want to die: I hope it never happens.
-- Where you want to go to college: hendrix would be nice.
-- What do you want to be when you grow up: something to do with music.
-- What country would you most like to visit: italy, scotland, ireland.
LAYER NINE:
In a girl
-- Best eye color?: i dont know
-- Best hair color?: i dont know, brown is nice
-- Short or long hair: whatever the person has
-- Height: i dont know
-- Best weight: i dont know
-- Best articles of clothing: jeans are cool
-- Best first date location: i dont know, im far from needing to think about this.
-- Best first kiss location: i would hope somewhere cool.
LAYER TEN:
-- Number of drugs taken illegally: 1
-- Number of people I could trust with my life: around 12
-- Number of CDs that I own: 489
-- Number of piercings: none
-- Number of tattoos: none
-- Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper?: none
-- Number of scars on my body: 1
-- Number of things in my past that I regret: almost everything ive ever done.

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Heres what happened today. I got off work at 8:30, went to barnes and noble to meet micool. He came there. Then we went outside and Tim and other people came. I would just like to point out right now that there is no reason that I could think of that anyone could either be mad or hate micool. Hes one of my best friends, and I have yet to find one bad thing that he has done. So yeah. Anyway, We hung out with Tim for a little bit, then we went driving around, then we got bored and couldnt find anything to do. So we went to my house for a few minutes. Then Micool went home. That was the night. I just cant see what reason anyone in the world could have to be mad at him. Alright. My situation is still terrible. But Im glad I have good friends like Micool. But I really dont appreciate it when people dont call back. Especially when I point out in the message that I know theyre not going to call me back. They cant even try to prove me wrong. Those are the type of people I hate anyway. I wish people would treat people as they want to be treated. I try to be the nicest person and a good friend. But I just feel like its useless most of the time. I just dont see why nothing good ever happens for me. Maybe I should just treat each person I know how they treat me. Most of them would think I was an asshole then. Im really sorry for whining about all of this. But it really pisses me off. And I feel so terrible because of all of it. I havent had a day where I didnt feel like I wanted to die in the past 6 months. Everything just reminds me of something bad, or something terrible happens. I know my parents are worried about me. They have asked me why I havent been as happy as I usually am. I just dont see why I care so much about what people think of me. I shouldnt. I shouldnt let everything bother me as much as it does. I know I have some really good friends, and they care about how Im doing. But then theres people who say that they care about you, and then they just blow you off. I just dont know what I can do to feel better. This is terrible.

Current Mood: depressed

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Im still really confused. And I feel terrible. I really have no idea what is going on in the world around me. I need help. People confuse me. I feel rejection too much. It hurts. And I feel really vulnerable right now. Someone could kick my ass or do anything else to me, and I wouldnt be able to stop it. Oh well. That might be a good thing.

Current Mood: depressed

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This week hasnt gone very well at all. It seems anytime Ive liked anyone, I always seem to do something wrong. I dont think they ever figure out that its them. I dunno. Im glad Ive got really great friends though. That really helps me. But hopefully things will start looking up for me.

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I realized something. I wish Id never met alot of people. You probobly know who you are. If not you can ask me, ill let you know. It just seems like I would have lived a better life without meeting you.

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Last night was weird. I went to barnes and noble, and deshaun and michael were there. Then Micool came, and Joe and Sydney. I was really hungry and the only person who seemed to be supporting my opinion of leaving the parking lot was Micool. Thats because hes a rockin' guy. But I got tired of waiting, and left with maryann and went to backyard burgers on cantrell. Then Tim, Jeff, and Chris came. We sat around there for a while. Then went to Harvest Foods. Then Maryann went home. And we went to Tim's house. Jeff and Chris left. Then I went home. Yeah. I felt really crappy. It feels like nothing is ever going to be alright. People just get worse. And I feel worse about them. Especially a person I thought I liked. But whatever.

Current Mood: depressed

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yeah
Im getting bored with this being completely fake. dont tell anyone this is on here. But I dont really have anyone to tell this to right now, so ill write it down here. Today I worked 3-8:30. Then got off and went to barnes and noble. Jeff and Tim came and then we went to Tim's house. Grady came over and then Claire came over. We sat around for a while, then started leaving. Claire and I went to hall in one car and Grady and his friend went in his car. We got there, and then Grady disappeared. Havent figured out where he went yet. Then Claire and I went back to Tims. She went home, Jeff took me home. Thats the whole night.

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Today I hung out with Dave. We sat around and played banjos. It was cool. I think hes over Sally at the moment. Hopefully. Anyway. My divorce from her is final today. Thank God. I was tired of having that burden on my back. I practiced my fiddle playing today. Hopefully Ill get a band soon. That would be cool. Im gonna go listen to Slayer now, so yeah.

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Today I bought some new shoes. Theyre pretty sweet. Tomarro, Im flying to Bermuda for 2 years.

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